Lots of published materials on relationships explain various reasons why couples fight and break up. Among these reasons are miscommunication, emotional issues, financial matters, sex, and more. Survey says, however, that sex and money are the top two and the usual reasons of break up and fights. Sex, which may come from miscommunication or may be caused by lack of compromise, is detrimental to relationships. But among all other reasons, money continues to be at the number one spot in terms of wrecking homes and relationships.

The Truth Behind the Great Money Debate

In order for a relationship to last, it should be nurtured. And one way of nurturing it is to keep an open communication about things – such as financial matters – which might affect things in the future.

Managing one’s finances is already a tedious task. It becomes more time-consuming when it already involves a family. But the burden gets light and easy when there is proper delegation. In most conservative and patriarchal countries, finances are solely handled by the male. But in recent times, when providing a family becomes harder and harder due to economic crisis, it is not uncommon to see wives sharing financial contributions to the family.

Most modern families employ 50/50 sharing of expenses and others. But still some spouses refuse to talk or to think about it due to the selfish belief that whoever holds the purse gets to make the decisions and earns more respect. Contrary to this belief, the one who is working might be not that concerned with the expenses, power, or control; but is actually more concerned with the savings. This is where open communication comes in. Different love and financial languages are threatening, thus it is important for the couple to talk and to understand each other. Compromise is another key ingredient when it comes to this issue. Discuss how one’s paycheck should be spent and consider working on ways how to save up together.

The Finance-Related Rules for Couples

Rules always prevent chaos. In relationships, although most of us hate rules, it must be present in order to minimize friction and to take control over things. A set of fixed and clear finance-related rules must be set and made clear to both parties in order to avoid disputes. It is never right to discuss financial issues in the middle of a fight or argument be it a loud fight, a tensed discussion, or a small seething fight. But when these arise, always remember to put your heart over money matters.

Never hide. Liars go to hell. Presumptions and assumptions are big NO NO. Once you get the knack of following these basic rules, you will find out that obtaining a financial harmony is not that hard to attain.

Your husband will surely get crazy if he finds out that you spent a hefty amount of money on that new Prada Bag. How much more if he finds out that you treated yourself in a salon or a spa? But who cares? Remember that love goes with understanding, thus your hubby will surely understand that a girl like you needs a break and pampering. It is therefore a must to tell him honestly about your total spending in a day rather than hide about it or tell him lies.

A stable relationship is usually determined by financial stability parameters. A couple who does not have much problems on where to get money to pay for debts are more likely to fight all the time versus a couple who compromises on their spending and saving concerns. Sometimes, you will end up with someone who does not care about the sticker price of an item as long as he or she wants it. In this case, you both must agree on implementing prudence or living a frugal life. This way, you will both realize that spending may be a good idea but saving is more rewarding in the long term.

There are times when people just know the rules but never follow it. There are others who just familiarize themselves with the rules only to break them. When this case happens to you and to your partner, now is the time to consider counseling. Nothing is positively generated and reached when it is just the two of you who discuss over matters. So, it is important to have someone between you who can help both of you see things clearly. However, counseling should be for a short time. Along the way you must develop how to handle things on your own. Eventually, you may be able to move and to decide on things on your own.

Now, if you are someone who is cursed with a selfish heart and is very much incapable of dealing finance-related matters, then be ready with the aftermath of your being immature. It will not be fair to your partner. You will even worsen the situation if you keep on complaining without even contributing anything. Simply put, you must, act, think, and share.

Two Heads and Two Hearts are Better than One

When you both agreed to enter into a relationship, you have actually mutually agreed to be a part of a beautiful life together in the future. A beautiful life is accompanied with inspiring dreams, realistic goals, and the promise to live together for better or for worst. How do you think can you reach your goals and materialize your dreams when you work like two parallel lines? The magic formula for a timeless relationship is TEAM WORK. It opens the door to understanding, honesty, and financial harmony, but closes the door to fights, arguments, and break ups.